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Writing Assignment #1

Writing Assignments are just short bits of text I (hopefully) will write on a near-daily basis about daily things. Nothing much to them but raw, unadulterated, unedited text straight from the cranium. Enjoy!

The correct way to store an opened bottle of ketchup is to refrigerate it. Ketchup should always be cooled, never warm. Warm ketchup is disgusting. Cold ketchup always complements food best. Besides, who wants to eat fries dipped in warm ketchup? It’s the coldness of the ketchup that gives it that much more of a kick. In addition, cold ketchup is what makes it possible to eat your fries and burger (or whatever you like to put ketchup on) right away without scalding your tongue or cooking your throat. Also, warm ketchup tends to be runnier, but I don’t want my ketchup to run anywhere but into my mouth. The cold helps the ketchup thicken a bit, and this reveals itself when you try to pour it out. Ketchup stored outside of a refrigerator will flow out nice and easily, while cold ketchup needs you to give it a wake up call with a smack on the back or a knife down its throat. Although it is much harder to obtain your cold ketchup, it doesn’t flow into your food like warm ketchup does. It doesn’t mix with the outside of your hamburger bun. It stays away from your salad (unless of course, you poured it on top of the salad). The ketchup won’t wet your fries and make them soggy before you get to them. And it’s easier to pick up. I’ve tried this and it works: cold ketchup will stick to your fries more easily than warm ketchup, and you get more per dip. Well, this is really all coming from someone who loves to eat ketchup. In fact, sometimes I can triple the weight of a single fry just by dipping it in ketchup. Finally, for the non-North-Americans, a fry is a chip.